《打開對話的百寶箱》 Dialogue Practitioner Training Program 01/23-24/2010

時間:九十九年一月二十三至二十四日(星期六至日)上午十點至下午五點 地點:朝邦文教基金會的對話空間 (復興北路57號1樓) Time: January 23-24, 2010 10:00-17:00 Location: The CP Yen Foundation Dialogue Space (#57 Fu-Hsing North Rd., 1F)

This workshop is just the beginning. As detailed below in the Open Space reports, the avenues in life where dialogue can be applied are without boundary. From fashion, parent-child relationship, speaking with strangers, interacting with people resistant to dialogue, match-making, real estate, and more; dialogue imposes a rigorous discipline on participants, yet when done skillfully can produce broad and extraordinary results,

achieving: “long-standing stereotypes dissolved, mistrust overcome, mutual understanding, visions shaped and grounded in shared purpose, people previously at odds with one another aligned on objectives and strategies, new common ground discovered, new perspectives and insight gained, new levels of creativity stimulated and bonds of community strengthened.” (Yankelovich, Daniel. The Magic of Dialogue)

We live in learning communities, where the opportunity to deepen the dialogue with others and with oneself is present at every moment. The question arises: what quality of being are you in when you engage with others and are you aware of the affect you have on the whole dynamic? “The ability to communicate meaning derives from being willing and able to see, hear and feel oneself. The quality of that relationship determines the capacity to hear and speak one’s voice with few words and great clarity. Solitude can offer the space to let the soul speak and reveal itself. The silence found in solitude is invaluable; quiet is needed to hear the soul speak through us. Moments of quiet reflection offer the time to connect to self and the opportunity to communicate from that space.

Sharing meaningful conversations requires leaving the quiet and solitude while still honoring the openness it has created within. Becoming masterful at the art of conversation means communicating with others in a way that leads to greater connection so that the need to defend can fall away. In learning communities people can be defenseless; they can share their vulnerability and their humanness. When I am open to listening to what is meaningful for others, feeling their life experiences, letting them into my heart and not just my mind, I can tap into this sacred space which captures the essence of community." (Ryan, Stephanie. Community Building: Renewing Spirit & Learning in Business)

As Facilitators and on behalf of the CP Yen Foundation Jorie & Keli would like to express how remarkable it was to see a group of 28 motivated individuals interact with one another with open eyes, mind and heart. We practiced suspending our assumptions, inquiring into each other’s (and own’s) deeper wisdom, we empathized and indeed shared our vulnerability and humanness together. The result we believe is transformative. We encourage you each to try out what you’ve learned, share your questions and stories, and together cultivate a learning community. The CP Yen Foundation is here in service of your growth. A “Dialogue Salon” will be held each month for you to practice what you learn and to mutually explore issues of your interest through the unfolding of dialogue. The content of these Salons will come from your suggestions and needs. Lead a workshop or suggest an idea and the Foundation is here to co-create with you a space to make it happen!

Jorie Wu & Keli Yen

第一天 紮根於對話的精髓與演練
第二天 學習與演練團體對話方法

在此學習如何尊重、聆聽,如何問更好的問題,如何運作深度匯談引發新的見解和行動 進而協助大家從演講者提升為對話實踐者,更能擴展領導力

引導師/執行長Jorie深入淺出、生動的分析著對話的四個「核心原則」& 四個「行為能力」

核心原則:開展→ 在我們四周皆有持續開展的潛能 參與→從頭到尾沉默著也是參與一致性→ 每件事都是相連結, 是整體的一部分 覺察→察覺到內心不同的聲音

  • 我是不存在的,只聽到對方的聲音
  • 專注對方,不要把自己觀念放入,不帶批判
  • 不要把情緒帶入,要客觀,不要馬上做判斷


十目:焦點、目光都放在對方〈full attention〉


  • 沉默的傾聽,「接受不一定同意 」
  • 我聽到他講的事實是什麼嗎?
  • 我聽出他的感受嗎?
  • 我能否「不帶情緒、假設」的說出他的價值觀是什麼?
  • 能否「站在他的立場」,聽出他所求是什麼?
  • 不同的觀點是很有價值的,可找尋背後的共同點以建造具有共同利益的解決方案


  • 主張者在發言時,試著將情形清楚描述,讓你的思維過程變的透明化
  • 探詢者
  • 問開放式的問題→答案不是「yes」or「no」
  • 小心使用「為什麼」→ ex.我可以知道你這樣想的原因是什麼嗎?
  • 不可以把建議包裝在問句裡〈隱藏式建議〉 →我們是在問人家意見,還是很客氣的表達自己的建議?
  • 是要協助對方找到自己的答案;你對問題本身也沒有答案
  • 觀察者可在時段中表達你所看到的,不一定在最後2分鐘才做feedback工作

經過調查, 大家都一致認為當「探詢者」是較具挑戰的

  • 我在對方所說的事實裡聽到了什麼問題
  • 當探詢者很容易說出自己的意見
  • 對方說的問題不是自己熟悉的領域,很難問問題
  • 問問題是很大的學問

活動候的回饋調查 Post-event survey feedback

工作坊中哪個部份讓您想要學/練習更多?請解釋(說明) 。
What module would you like to learn more of? Please explain.

  1. 對話原則 Dialogue Principles (√√)
    1. “Needs practice and deepening”
    2. “生活中不可或缺的能力”
  2. 體恤傾聽 Compassionate Listening (√)
    1. “生活中不可或缺的能力“
  3. 主張與探詢 Advocacy vs. Inquiry (√√)
    1. Time is not enough for me in this section
    2. “生活中不可或缺的能力”

你希望哪個單元(將來)可以有練習的機會? Which would you like to receive opportunities to practice?

  1. 對話原則 Dialogue Principles (√√√√)
  2. 體恤傾聽 Compassionate Listening (√√)
  3. 主張與探詢 Advocacy vs. Inquiry (√√√)
  4. 世界咖啡館 World Café (√)
  5. 開放空間會議 Open Space Meeting (√)

工作坊的長短/時間安排你覺得怎麼樣? What did you feel about the Length of the Program?

  1. 剛好 Just Right (√√√√)
  2. “The 2-day workshop to connect the dialogue and world cafe together, make the learning deep”
  3. “For me, two days course is enough and suitable.”

指導語說明夠清楚嗎?How were the clarity of instructions?

  1. “Yes, because the atmosphere is good, there is no room for doubt”
  2. “familiar with the process”
  3. “well interpretation”
  4. “充分練習”

您在那裡開始引用對話力? Where have you started to use dialogue?

  1. “In the conversation during in the car” 基金會希望能夠支持你發起/引導你有興趣的對話活動, 請列下你有興趣的議題: The Foundation would like to support you to host your own dialogues on a topic of your own choice. Please list topics of interest to you here. 1. “How to improve the insight of our own dialogue?”
  2. “How to have dialogue with “gan ma?" children”
  3. “Dialogues between different groups, communities. A forum or public debate for some science development and new techology issues are quite common in the IChemE, UK.”

關於對話力,您還想要再多學習學的甚麼內容? What more would you like to learn about Dialogue?

  1. “How to face the chaos and how to aware the judgemantal or critical during the listening and suspending?”
  2. “How to have dialogue with people who are not open to it”
  3. “Challenge dialogue, such as in the situation of negotiation”
  4. “對話能力”

你覺得對話練習可以在那裡使用? Where do you see future opportunities for each Dialogue Module?

  1. “Everywhere and to everyone!”
  2. “In all human interactions from family to business to world affairs.”
  3. “Mentorning system in Toastmasters, daily life”
  4. “Anywhere”

Topic Name 主題:The Practice of Dialogue in Real Life problem Solving.
Topic Number 編號:A1
Convenor 召集人:George Yen
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Tim、Janice Su、Alicia、Eliza
Insights 討論內容:

  1. Janice: I wanted to take a customer to dinner and he said “it’s too expensive”, but I had a sense that the customer still wanted to go there. Thanks to the fact that I invested in this dinner, I’ve been working with this customer now for five years!
  2. George: Manager wanted to leave,George said ok,even though manager really wanted George to keep him. The CEO is 65 years old and is obligated to retire,however George decided to transfer him to another factory in China because he felt that’s what the Manager secretly wanted.
  3. Observation: In meetings,culturally Taiwanese people tend to not speak up. Why?Not have responsibility (to prevent inviting an over-load of work ),and to prevent upsetting the harmony of the group (不想得罪人). Not have authority,just facilitating. How does a CEO hear voices from different levels of operation?Trust worthy receptionist and employees (at the lower level ).
  4. 父母子女關係:「禮」多人不怪。Give presents (一句話也是a gift)
  5. Environment is important (not threatening ). “Let’s go have a cup of coffee + talk things through. Not talk at work. Talk at a cafe.
  6. 晚上不要想問題,自己嚇自己。Think about it is the morning. ( State of mind )
  7. Be aware constantly of what 心理狀態是如何. Self-awareness.
  8. Is timing important? Depends on the urgency of the issue.
  9. Atmosphere ( 西餐廳 ) = good place for dialogue.
  10. Bringing the issue to the table takes courage. The receiving party may be improved and be more open to the discussion. Sincerity + real listening = powerful. Whenever you ask positive questions,change begins.→Mind shift. Give time + space to digest discussion,questions,Future discussion / dialogue may occur.

Topic Name 主題:Apply dialogue skill in the party to spark attraction
Topic Number 編號:A2
Convenor 召集人:Athena
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Athena、Esther、Willy
Insights 討論內容:

  • Biz card → info ( whom, whose, meet )
  • Subject to spark attraction / Cocky and Funny technique. Pick up line
  • Dialogue: → open question technique → disclosure → natural → → Show interest in others → appreciate Be interested and interesting
  • Monica Lai :Smile is the best language is the world!

Topic Name 主題:How to inspire/unveil curiosity?
Topic Number 編號:A3
Convenor 召集人:Dawn
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):
Insights 討論內容:

  1. 為何大家對” How to inspire curiosity”有興趣?
  2. Edward:curiosity is key to learning.
  3. Cherry:好奇”如何引起他人的注意力?”
  4. Yvonne:要先知道對方需要什麼?
  5. Sharlene:為什麼別人對事有好奇?我如何可以有好奇心?
  6. Cameron:I am curious about this topic.
  7. Edward:應花時間在自己的天賦及優勢,讓A→A+,而不是花時間在改進缺點 (“I like this idea.”-Monica)
  8. Dawn:其實無法做好一件事,也並無不可
  9. Yvonne:Being independent.
  10. Edward:Challenge makes growth.
  11. Sharlene:如何激發員工的好奇?
  12. Cherry:這是貓型員工,可以從小成就,來激勵
  13. 大家:公司有其他部門需要他的優勢之處嗎?
  14. Dawn:家庭因素造成,無curiosity.
  15. Edward:curiosity每一個人都有,所以不是inspire curiosity,而是找到真正的curiosity,去連接需要的地方
  16. Yvonne:引導可以將curiosity到工作上
  17. Dawn:成為別人生命的貴人,建議他合適的路
  18. Dawn:是否人的動力來自價值觀
  19. 大家:現在的小孩都太被保護,所以生活沒有動力及熱情

Topic Name 主題:如何改進親子關係?
Topic Number 編號:A5
Convenor 召集人:Harry
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):JJ、Michael、Pauline、Freda
Insights 討論內容:

  1. 親子問題、打電動
  2. 自閉、放棄、逃避壓力、對未來不知道的壓力,導致沒有自信→無法解決,每件事情都打擊自己
  3. 降低自己的標準(學習的要求)
  4. 目標不要由父母說
  5. 建立對話的可能(如:一齊打球,讓小孩了解/體認到父母工作的辛苦,不要只講正面
  6. 用正面鼓勵
  7. 一齊打電動
  8. 不要以為浪費時間
  9. 讓他有挫折,才會反省
  10. 你的Anxiety (不要製造問題) 焦慮放下,焦慮可能成為小孩的壓力源 (將對他的焦慮放下,才能建立一個沒有壓力的空間)
  11. 請教他,ASK For HELP,改變Role
  12. 不能用Parents的Role’s出現
  13. 虐待兒童不一定要體罰,說話不算話就是一種心靈的虐待
  14. Love your kids. They will love you back.
  15. 降低對孩子的期望,多鼓勵、多了解他喜歡的事物,由孩子自己決定對自己的期許
  16. 要真正以朋友的心態去了解小孩,不要以為自己(父母)真的瞭解他們,小孩小時候不當小來的朋友,小孩長大後也不會把爸媽當爸媽!

Topic Name 主題:誰會需要/有興趣在這個“Dialogue Practitioner Program”?
Topic Number 編號:A6
Convenor 召集人:Jorie
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Jackie、Esther
Insights 討論內容:

  1. 每一個人都需要對程度不依,主管>員工,主管做Coach引導需求大於員工
  2. Esther:工作上需求,需要部門溝通, 我們部門做流程改選 (lean management Consulting) 常需跟人溝通。 ⊙老師→引導學生V.S填鴨式/學校
  3. Jackie:上組織行為課,老師很會問問題,但同學不回答 (是害怕or不習慣擔心說錯話),上了三次少數同學才開始講話,學生需要被鼓勵、需要環境 老師,學術都很會主張者,不太會傾聽 Q:從哪裡著手?看到影響力,有些已經具有Dialogue能力or看到重要性者,開始做“漣漪人”
  4. 上了課,了解《對話》是有一套學理,《問問題》不容易。
  5. *這個program Module─ 第一天扎根→the module可以monthy 第二天運用 針對不同族群進行,也可以鼓勵學員帶領process+後續的學習心得。 擴展到不同城市、不同議題。 希望園區的模式到不同城市,志工引導師→讀書會引導人+活動。 先鼓勵TM TOP leaders參與,officer Training除了presentation外。
  6. 可以採納World Cafe or Open Space or互動式討論方式,雖然 Officer Training也有分組討論,但沒有Dialogue spirit or facilitator來引導流程or設計問題,指流於聊天,沒有討論紀錄or書面資料,很可惜,知識無法累積。
  7. 知識管理→討論內容的紀錄兼顧保密性與傳承性,e.g. TM recruit members經驗傳承。
  8. 記錄可以維持討論小組的情感,當我們回看 World Café 的圖像,回憶討論的氣氛與累積的情誼→基金會會把這些討論紀錄圖像PO至網頁www.cpyen.org

Topic Name 主題:如何與“不願對話的人”開啟對話?
Topic Number 編號:A7
Convenor 召集人:Justin
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Jason、Show、Hua-Yun Lee、Jennifer Insights 討論內容:

  1. 完全不想講話的人
  2. 不知道如何繼續
  3. 網路上,虛擬空間上的對話
  4. 宗教、政治等立場鮮明的情況
  5. 藉由探詢,知道他聽到心裡想說的話
  6. Create curiosity
  7. Motivation
  8. 動機的強度、耐心、堅持
  9. 藉由第三者的幫助
  10. 另闢新管道溝通
  11. Enjoy Process享受過程、支持繼續
  12. 先說出對方的價值、主張
  13. 對話開啟後的好處、誘因
  14. 對話的模式,不會加強自己的觀念
  15. 品質、誠懇、情緒、同理心、感受、盛不住
  16. 你了解我夠嗎
  17. 是自己的問題嗎
  18. 自己的價值觀、情緒控制能力─已經準備好了嗎
  19. talk sticks先repeat剛剛對方的話
  20. 讀到對方的感受與價值
  21. 清楚、理性的溝通是一種自我成長的機會
  22. 行動力、對話的時間性、深入溝通、信任感
  23. 傾聽型的人
  24. 東方注重頭銜、西方注重專業
  25. 從利益上的結合提升到非利益上的結合
  26. 每個人的反應不同,也許不是不願意對話,而是回應不是所想的
  27. 如何邀請對方進入對話→由第三者
  28. 加強本身對話能力
  29. 給對方想對話的動機
  30. 要深入了解互相
  31. 對話之前先訂一個規則→先repeat問題、再回答
  32. 開啟對話的前提→了解自己、安全感、出發點、信任感
  33. 相信專業
  34. 時間長度
  35. Edward:是我們不願意去對話,還是對方是“不願對話的人”?值得深思
  36. 告訴對方,給對方時間去準備他想說的,等他準備好隨時可以展開對話
  37. 先客觀
  38. 主動示出善意、動機多強、自我修鍊、探索

Topic Name 主題:Let’s go out and have fresh air.
Topic Number 編號:A8
Convenor 召集人:Monica
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):
Insights 討論內容:

  1. 吸煙區,(relax)
  2. travel、shopping~ gossip.
  3. 公益旅行家
  4. Starbucks~ caramel mochas/machiatto
  5. Dance
  6. 朋友、喝喝小酒
  7. 美食、禱告、煮東西 SPA、和阿姨聊天~(聽)
  8. 海邊散步、聊天
  9. 單一種價Shopping
  10. 爬山

Topic Name 主題:如何讓運動與生活結合
Topic Number 編號:B1
Convenor 召集人:Hua-Yun Lee
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Justin Lin、Cherry Lee、Harry Fong、Dawn Lee、Yvonne Tang
Insights 討論內容:

  1. Hua-Yun Lee:每天跑3000公尺的習慣,因工作忙碌而改變成游泳,運動後更能冷靜思考生活中的目標與問題
  2. Justin:運動的行程容易被工作打斷
  3. Dawn:針對Justin的問題使用PDA來控管生活習慣及運動次數
  4. Cherry:找對夥伴與地點,還有方便性
  5. Yvonne球類(困難:沒partner、技巧差不多)、健身房(困難:有時間限制)、yoga(自律)(困難:需自我管理)
  6. Dawn:記得做完的“爽度”,清新的感覺,可先從規律生活的養成開始,週日與Toastmaster→group→騎腳踏車,找對partner
  7. Harry:MAKE IT Fun每週固定與Toastmaster打羽毛球,還提供pick up service (有興趣想參加可洽George Yen) 創造運動的“動機” Our club (Legacy)→the best place有帥哥美女歡迎來參加the goal:Best DTM 爬不起來?用“責任感”來克服人性的弱點,對別人有承諾,彼此牽制,成為一種動力
  8. How combine exercise with life?→regular life規律生活→如何維持規律生活?Harry:2007開始迄今,每週和羽毛球隊與Toastmaster→每週2天打羽毛球(公司旁有空地)
  9. Harry:克服惰性→藉由團體力量 邀朋友打羽毛球→Q:沒有球拍A:已準備好球拍

Topic Name 主題:我們可以如何充分運用“這個空間”?
Topic Number 編號:B2
Convenor 召集人:Jackie Chang
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Jackie Chang、Jorie
Insights 討論內容:

  1. 成為有興趣推廣Dialogue互動式參與引導教練者聚會、演練的場所。
  2. 發布場地運用通知予各相關單位,NGO、引導者論壇、ICA(Facilitation)、Toastmasters club、讓大家知道此一對話空間的使用機會。
  3. 設置一自助式吧檯,讓各個活動主辦單位可以自己安排相關的飲食,亦可以建立附近餐飲供應商、文具印刷供應名單。
  4. 需增添白板、桌、椅,有投影機螢幕設備更佳(燈光更換)→經費來源可自場地收入及參加者的Donation來支持。
  5. 時間的安排可分不同時段的出租使用,以對話活動為主。
  6. 可邀請附近的coffee安排服務主現場,並提供相關飲食服務
  7. 每月活動:朝邦之對話工作場、ICA group mentoring、引導者論壇 每週活動:Toastmasters clubs meeting Day time/weekday(這時段也可以作為引導師自己的energize的coining時段)(Dawn:引導師也是要一直充電的,互相激盪更可有New way):
    1. 各種課程
    2. 說故事訓練
    3. 英文
    4. 表演
    5. 引導課程
    6. 繪畫
    7. 演說簡報
    8. Dialogue for different age groups.
    9. 婦女老人兒童電影欣賞討論會
    10. 讀書會
    11. Art Exhibition
    12. Concert/Recital 各種會議使用+引導師的協助、引導實務演練場,讓想要尋找引導機會的引導師可以有機會來
  8. 舉辦研討會─與IAF台灣總會合作,邀請國際引導大師來台舉辦活動 9. 揚昇大樓的對話空間、活動空間,成為辦公大樓第一個對話空間示範點

Topic Name 主題:I want to be a match-maker
Topic Number 編號:B4
Convenor 召集人:Janice Su
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):
Insights 討論內容:

  1. Data Base:畢證書、戶及證本、會後會、身分證、介紹人
  2. 朝向正向的家邦
  3. 藉口:工作忙、沒有機會、怕失敗、相處時間不夠、怕被拒絕
  4. Speed Dating
  5. 方法:join meeting;介紹人、Spring Con
  6. 創造讓家人聚會、交流對話的機會

Topic Name 主題:Fashion,Beauty,Trend
Topic Number 編號:B5
Convenor 召集人:Pauline
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Jennifer、Sharlene、Michael、Monica、Elva
Insights 討論內容:

  1. 時尚不一定要貴,要適合自己
  2. 一個人可以create your own fashion.
  3. Outer beauty V.S inner beauty
  4. Michael Jackson:究竟他喜不喜歡自己的黑皮膚?年輕時的形象其實很陽光,自己對自己缺乏信心,只能靠手術及drug產生自信(Michael及Jennifer)
  5. Monica:男、女性對hair style有很大的差異及看法。
  6. Jennifer:男聲多對long、straight hair有浪漫迷思。
  7. Michael:多數男性likes to straighten his own curly hair,只要他們喜歡就好,多以respect,hairstyle改變,代表心境change.
  8. 學生對dressed-beautifully的老師,也會較認真聽課,也較會親近老師。
  9. J:男性對女性的造型like嗎?Michael:Males like to see beautiful things,including females,日本人很重視出門之打扮,是一種文化的尊重。
  10. Jorie昨天及今天的穿著有systematic design的用心,令人賞心悅目,更突顯其專業。
  11. Diversity is beauty!
  12. Sharlene:近3、4個月作大改變,listen to friends suggestion,營造個人優勢。
  13. Visual literacy 在工作上可帶來很大的impact及efficiency.
  14. Monica:接第9個導師的job,環境佈置耳目一新,望見中央山脈,學生自動養魚、種花營造美麗的環境,師生互動良好!利用cake、authentic教學
  15. TV節目「大學生了沒?」,學生打扮火辣,造成不適切的價值觀。法國政府因為model的不正確保持身材的作法,而明文禁止TV撥過瘦的model走秀。
  16. 齒顎矯正,讓自己更有自信。
  17. *「優質單身」→打從心裡愛自己,安排好自己的生活。
  18. Conclusion:每個人都可以營造生活中的美,in corners,in details.
  19. 結論:fashion and confidence是良性循環

Topic Name 主題:How to have deeper conversations with a ‘stranger’ .
Topic Number 編號:B6
Convenor 召集人:Cameron
Participants (including Bumble Bees) 參與人員(含蜜蜂):Cameron、Willy、Edward、Freda、Athena、Harry、Alicia
Insights 討論內容:

  1. ‘Deeper’ Conversation → definition → Personal、Philosophy、Values / Feelings、Personal、Interests、Infrequently、discussed、topics.
  2. Methods:
    1. Ask about recent events
    2. Question ( Alicia ): How can we find a way into a group? I. Introduce II. Don’t show weakness
    3. How to deal with deeper Techniques conversations with family members.
  3. Edward: Trust → let person feel you are trustworthy.→ Acknowledgement – LISTENING Full Acceptance
  4. First impressions: lose judgment.
    1. Curiosity
    2. Recognize ‘straight’
  5. Freda:
    1. No judgment
    2. Inquiry → Asking good questions.
  6. Relaxing – being comfortable with oneself.
  7. Stranger: someone that will be a friend.
  8. Athena believes it isn’t possible. → If it happens, it’s by chance. – There are steps that need to be followed.
  9. Example: Noticed something personal. → wear
  10. Pick up lines – Practice
  11. Know yourself better – Be prepared. Monologue.
  12. Keli – intimidated – eyes – over dependency – stop having own agenda
  13. Environment:
    1. safe
    2. Trust



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