「說話的邀約」

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聆聽之中存在著許多的能量，其中最強烈的就是「說話的邀約」。

「跟我說你的故事，用你最想要、最能滿足你的方式來敘述它。需要多久就多久。可以很快說，或慢慢說。故事不需要完美或完整。從內心或理智面都可以。我會用心聆聽。我在這裡聽你說、向你學習。請告訴我，要如何做，可以對你最有幫助？」

你有多常得到這樣的邀約呢？你常常這樣邀請別人嗎？

在朋友之間、和陌生人、家人、同事們會面時，的確有說話的邀約。這可能是開放式、封閉式、有規範、有條件的、有期待的邀約。以下是一些不同類型說話邀約的範例：

• 聽我說，停頓，然後從我說的話做補充。
• 只要告訴我重點就好，如果我想知道更多，我會讓你知道。
• 慢下來，慢慢來，告訴我到底發生什麼事情，不要遺漏。
• 請欣賞一下我的想法，跟我說我做的對。
• 跟我說一點我不知道的有趣的事情，只要我覺得有趣，我就會繼續聽。
• 我好喜歡你的聲音，請繼續。
• 雖然我的確問你一個問題，但是不要花太多時間來回答。

聆聽的存在或不存在會影響空間。這很重要的原因，是因為「聆聽是所有可能性的基石。」所以這樣的邀約，就可能造就無限的可能。 

說話的邀請並不是單純的聆聽。我們幫助彼此成長、發展。對於人類來說，聲音的發展是成長的基礎。聲音讓我們表達我們自我。聲音是實體的聲音，以及所有人類表達自己的所有方式。所有類型的藝術、音樂、所有內心的熱情都是「存在的表達」。任何服務的型態，深度關心他人、動物、水、土地、植物都是「存在的表達」的一種。有的人透過自然、他們的作品和手藝來表達。在這些表達的類型中，聆聽、彼此的互動是一種很真誠的服務，幫助對方發展她或他的聲音。

從孩提時代開始，說話的邀約會讓我們發展出表達自我的能力– 我們究竟是誰，我們所帶到這個世界的那道光芒。

一個人的聲音的發展對她的完整感很重要。如果一個人可以用簡單、大膽、清晰、溫暖的流動狀態中表達自我，會讓她覺得自己圓滿、從內心深處感到滿足、有連結感。當她可以用自己的聲音來表達，就會有這樣的感覺。舉例來說，如果可以從內心深處說出真相，就是這種感覺。如果要讓孩子可以發展他們的聲音，就必須以充滿愛的支持能量發出說話的邀請。很多成人在小時候沒有得到這樣的邀約，所以他們的表達也相當受限。這影響到所有的人，是一種悲傷的泉源。

練習

如果要繼續培養你的說話的邀約，建議找機會支持他人發展他們的聲音、讓他們表達自己、分享他們的光芒。父母親要繼續和孩子們培養說話的邀約。領導者在你的社區中審視說話的邀約。教師們培養說話的邀約- 在你的課堂中邀請你的學童們「表達自我」。

資料來源: Michael Marlowe: http://blog.17messages.com/2013/04/invitation-to-speak.html

邁可‧馬爾洛 (Michael Marlowe)是一位資深企業諮詢顧問、精神指導師、治療師、作家。他目前聚焦於協助領導者與個人在自體、與他人關係、社區中的成長與療癒。邁可正積極推廣能量智慧的學習，探索圓圈的智慧，教導人們從生態系統中的模式中直接學習。他近年來所撰寫的文章，重點均凝聚於集體意願以及集體行動上，他也是系統改變學院(Academy for Systemic Change)的創始合夥人。在這之前，他擁有三十年的經驗，在財富雜誌所選出的頂尖50家企業中推動永續企業的創造和營造健康工作環境，創造了斐然的成果。他是組織學習協會(Society of Organization Learning)的創辦會員。

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“Invitation To Speak"

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There are different energies present in listening; among the strongest of these is the “invitation to speak.”

“Tell me your story. Tell it to me in whatever way is satisfying for you. Take all the time you need. Tell it fast or slow. It doesn’t need to be perfect all well thought out. Speak from the heart or mind. I will hold whatever you tell me with care. I am here to listen to you and learn. Tell me how could I be the most helpful to you?”

How often do you encounter this invitation? How often do you offer this invitation?

In every meeting among friends, strangers, family, coworkers, there is an invitation to speak. This invitation maybe open, closed, qualified, contingent, expectant. The invitation to speak is dynamic and can be changed. Here are some quick examples of types of invitation to speak:

• Listen to me, defer and add comments that build on mine
• Just give me the headlines. I’ll let you know if I want more.
• Slow down, take your time, tell me exactly what happened. Don’t leave anything out.
• Appreciate my ideas; tell me I’m doing the right thing.
• Tell me something interesting that I don’t know. I’ll keep listening as long as it interests me.
• I love the sound of your voice. Please continue.
• Even though I asked you a question–don’t spend a lot of time answering it.

The presence or absence of listening shapes the space. The reason that this is so important is that “listening is the foundation for all possibilities.” So invitation shapes what is possible. 

Now invitation to speak is about more that just listening. We each help one another grow and develop. Fundamental to our growth as humans is the development of voice. Voice is the expression of being of who we are. Now voice is both the physical voice and all the other ways humans express themselves. Art of all kinds, music of all kinds, sustained passion of all kinds are all “expressions of being." Any form of service or deep caring for people, animals, water, land, plants can be an “expression of being." Some people express their being in the nature and quality of their work and craft. In all of these forms of expression, listening and engaging provides a true service in helping someone develop his or her voice.

The invitation to speak that we grow up with as children shapes our ability to express our being – who we truly are, the light we bring into the world.

In the person’s development of her voice is critical to feeling whole. She feels whole, deeply satisfied, connected when she can express her being unrestricted in a simple, bold, clear, warm flow. This can occur when someone uses her voice – for example to speak the truth or to speak from the heart. In order for this development to occur in children, a supportive invitation to speak is necessary. Many adults never have this as children, so their expression of being is limited. This affects everyone and is a source of sadness.

The Practice

Further develop your invitation to speak. Look for opportunities to support people to develop their voice, express their being, and share their light. Parents further develop you invitation to speak with your children. Leaders examine the invitation to speak in your community. Teachers further develop the invitation to speak – inviting children to “express their being" in your classroom.

Source: Michael Marlowe: http://blog.17messages.com/2013/04/invitation-to-speak.html

Michael Marlowe is executive consultant, spiritual coach, healer, and writer. Currently he focuses on supporting leaders and individuals to promote growth and healing within themselves, their relationships and within communities. Michael is bringing forward a body of work on energetic intelligence, which taps the wisdom of circles and teaches people to work more directly with patterns present in living systems. His latest writings are about collective intention and collective action, and he is a founding partner of the Academy for Systemic Change.  Previously, Michael spent thirty years creating sustained business results and producing healthy work environments in Fortune 50 companies and was a founding member of the Society of Organization Learning.